4.9 - 2035

On monday the first snow came here in central Gothenburg, and it's still early November (!!). Last year from what I can remember the snow came pretty late...I think.

And there is another thing that has made this day really good, but it's too early to give out any info about it (I'm kinda superstitious).

But don't worry, I'll fill you in when the time is right. ; )

. . . .

An' yess, soon'ah the new Blade Runner DVD box'ah released here in Sweden.

Oh, yes lord'ah!!

And'ah the Seinfeld complete series collectors box'ah is coming too ah'!

Hallelujah'!!



...now I just have to find the money to buy both of 'em... : /

. . . .

And today (friday) I'm finally going to see Fu Manchu live!! I have missed out on a couple of their shows, but when I heard that they were coming to Gothenburg I instantly bought a ticket.

It's gonna be awesome! : D


So tonight sing with me:

"6 hours before
With an evil grin
Better brace yourself
Straightaway or win
Call power slide
Separates them all
Never touchin the brake
...unapproachable...

Evil eye has set his plan
...erasin all...
Evil eye has set his plan
...erasin all...

Pushed through the floor
Halfway through the turn
As we ride up high
The dirt starts to burn
Wheels of his heap
Hits the backstreet wall
Evil eye has signaled
..unapproachable...

Evil eye has set his plan
...erasin all...
Evil eye has set his plan
...erasin all...

Evil...eye...will fall."

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4.8 - No title IV

I have been living in the same apartment for over 3 years now, and I have always thought that my neighbourhood was a good place to live.

We have the crappy pizzeria with the regular alcoholics, teenagers that are loud and driving their scooters like they stolen them, a grocery store that is really close but charge higher prices than in the regular stores. I never felt unsecure of afraid when I come home late at night (or early in the morning, depends on how you see it). But today when I got out on my way to work I saw that someone had smashed the back window of a car and problaby stolen some stuff from it.

When I saw it I got reminded that a couple of months back on my way to town one day I took another way to town and close to my home I found a burned out car. That day I didn't think about it that much, but today when I saw that smashed and broken into car I started to think that maybe my place where I live isn't such a good place after all.


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4.7.2

Just when I thought this day couldn't get any worser, at home I had got this letter from a job I applied to a while ago.



English translation:

"I want to thank you for taking your time to come to us for a interview for the job. But I am sorry to have to tell you that we will go on with other applicants.

Blah blah blah..."


And I really thought I was going to get it, I really needed some good news today...

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4.7 - 2009

Sad Kermit

4.6 - No sunshine on a cloudy day

I don't feel like writing much today, so I'll just thank Carina for bringing me the good stuff all the way from Norway.

"Pour some sugar on me..." ^_^

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4.5 - Bored

Online tests are funny...

The "how evil are you?" test:

You Are 92% Evil

You're the most evil person you know. The devil is even a little scared of you!

The "what donut are you?" test:

You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut

A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image. On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex. You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time. Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.

The "how weird are you?" test:

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it.

The "what's your pimp name?" test:

Your Pimp Name Is...

White Chocolate Love

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4.4 - The Saga Begins

"A long, long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Gothenburg was under an attack
And I thought me and Jonas, Mikkel and Sebastian
Could talk the federation into
Maybe cutting them a little slack

But their response, it didn't thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas

Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass
We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the Queen
We all wound up on Hisingen
That's where we found this boy...

Oh my my this here Perrah guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
..."

. . . .

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me

Haappy biiirthday to meee eee

Yup, I'm one year older today. And for once I feel like I don't mind at all!

It's all thanks to my friends: Daniela, Jonas, Rebecca, Stefan, Carina, Sebastian, Mikkel, Daniel, Matan, Sushi, Kahloolie Kathan, the demons in my closet and in my bathroom...


A big thanks and hugs to you all!!

"I like big butts i can not lie..."


=^_^=

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4.3 - "Arm yourself because no-one here will save you..."

"Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize; it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die

The coldest blood runs through my veins
You know my name"


När jag tänker på det så känns det ibland rätt skönt att gå ifrån 20 åringarna. Att lämna blont hår, stora bröst, utseende fixering, modefixering och sånt. Visst den finns ju fortfarande i äldre åldrar också, det kan man ju inte förneka. Men det känns nästan som om den är mest intensiv i 15-29 års åldern. Eller är det kanske bara jag som tycker så...?

Anyway, som jag skrev så känns det ibland skönt att lämna det bakom sig och gå vidare. Jag höll på att skriva "gå vidare och att bli vuxen", men ändrade mig då jag anser att man behöver inte bli vuxen. Varför ska man alltid ta allt på sånt jävla allvar jämt? Fan, man måste ju ha lite distans till livet och sakerna omkring en.

Visst, man måste ju vara seriös också, men man får inte glömma sarkasmen, och att vara sådär skönt oseriös ibland.

Fan alltså...jag blir 30 år...jävlar i mig. Iof. när jag skriver det så känns det inte så gammalt och farligt, men tänker jag på det och säger det så låter det...usch, gammalt. Då ska man ju ha flickvän, bra jobb, hus och barn...iaf. var det så när jag var yngre. Då var det så standarden var satt, men allt eftersom tiden gick så ändrades standarden och idag har jag ingen koll på vad som förväntas av en när man blir 30. Man sätter ju själv upp dom mål man vill ha, men man kan ju inte komma undan att andra har tankar och tycker saker om en.

När jag var yngre och tänkte på mig själv som 30 (a.k.a. "vuxen") så såg jag mig i ett kontor på "plattan" i Stockholm, jag satt där och arbetade med något och bar en schysst kostym med självklar slips till. Sen åkte jag hem till min flickvän/fru och levde mitt svensson liv eller nåt sånt. Jag ville verkligen flytta till Stockholm när jag var yngre, tyckte att det var en sån skön stad. Men efter ett par år och många vistelser så insåg jag att Stockholm stad är ju inte så skön som många påstår. Sveriges framsida? Pah, knappast säger jag.

Men nu glider jag iväg i en annan sak här känner jag så jag ska försöka återgå till ämnet. När jag var yngre så såg jag mig sitta i kostym och jobba på kontor när jag var "vuxen". Har det blivit så? Mja, om man tar bort plattan, Stockholm ersätts med Göteborg och kostymen så stämmer det nästan in...usch.

Jag jobbar i ett kontorslandskap centralt beläget i Göteborg, kostymen behöver vi inte ha längre (tack chefen!), men ett tag där så satt jag faktiskt och arbetade i vit skjorta och röd slips, fy fan vad jag hatade den kostymen. Byxorna satt jävligt illa, skjortan likaså, och slipsen...inte fan kan jag knyta en slips inte. Samt att den hade en förmåga att krypa ner i min mat hela tiden. Tillslut "försvann" slipsen, jag skyllde på att jag hade tappat bort den, men i själva verket ligger den i en låda på jobbet...

Det är ju inte det att jag har något emot att ha kostym, inte alls! Jag önskar ibland att jag hade en eller ett par snygga kostymer som jag kunde ha. Men då ska det vara ett sådant jobb där det finns anledning till att jag ska ha det, samt att den ska vara sydd så att den sitter snyggt också. Kostymen jag hade på jobbet satt minst sagt illa och ville man sy till den fick man betala själv och inte fanns det någon anledning till att vi skulle ha den, inga kunder ser ju oss.

Men som sagt så, målen sätter man upp själv. Har jag några mål / haft några mål i mitt liv hitills? Visst har jag det, och visst har jag haft det! Men dom behåller jag nog för mig själv tack, försöker nämligen att undvika att tänka på dom.

Föräldrar och familjemedlemmar brukar ju ha en del mål uppsatta åt en också som dom gärna ser att man fyller upp. Morsan vill ju ha barnbarn det vet jag, och jag vill gärna fixa barnbarn till morsan, men det är förbannat svårt när man inte har en tjej. Brorsans fru tycker väl att jag "ska växa upp och bete mig mer äldre". Men varför då? Undrar jag. VARFÖR ska jag bara för att jag fyller 30 bete mig mer "vuxet" egentligen?

Och vad fan är "mer vuxet" beteende då?

* Är det att dricka kaffe?
* Att kunna sitta på en stol och lägga upp ena benet sådär manligt eller korsa det?
* Kunna odla mörkt brösthår i mängder?
* Sluta gå på konserter med artister och istället gå på dansbandskvällar?
* Kunna sätta upp den där hyllan istället för att be om hjälp?
* Ta körkort?

Hell no!! Jag vägrar!

* Jag avskyr kaffe! (blir så jävla speedad av det, samt att det smakar skit).
* Jag kan fan inte sitta på en stol och lägga ena benet över sådär manligt eller ens korsa det.
* Jag har brösthår, men det är ljust och inte så mycket (so fucking what?!)
* Jag vägrar sluta gå på konserter med dom artister jag tycker om.
* Jag har inga pengar till körkortet. Jag har inte ansett att jag behövt körkortet tidigare, men visst vore det kul att ha.

Men om det nu är så viktigt att ha så ge mig pengarna då, för jag vill hellre ha den där nya Dimmu Borgir skivan, DVD boxen och behöver uppgradera datorn.

Fan heller att jag kommer att bli "vuxen", hate it or love it i don't care.

"Härmed säger jag upp mig som vuxen. Jag har bestämt mig för att jag bara vill ta det ansvar som passar en åttaåring. Jag vill gå på McDonald's och tro att det är en trestjärnig Michelin-restaurant.

Jag vill tycka att M&M är bättre än pengar, eftersom man kan äta dem. Jag vill springa barfota i mjukt gräs, smutsa ner byxorna, ligga under ett stort träd och ha en saftkiosk tillsammans med mina vänner en varm sommardag.

Jag vill ha regnställ och gummistövlar och få plaska i pölarna. Jag vill att mamma gör goda mackor och varm choklad. Jag vill tillbaka till den tid då livet var enkelt. När allt jag kunde något om var färger, multiplikationstabellen och barnsånger.

Och ingenting bekymrade mig, för allt jag visste att jag inte visste, brydde jag mig inte om. Allt jag visste var att vara lycklig för att jag inte kände till de bekymmer jag skulle bekymra mig för.

Jag vill tro att världen är rättvis och att alla är ärliga och snälla. Jag vill tro att allt är möjligt. Jag vill ha möjligheten att bli överväldigad av de små sakerna och händelserna igen. Jag vill leva enkelt igen.

Jag vill inte att min dag skall bestå av datatrassel, berg av pappersarbete och dåliga nyheter. Jag vill inte tänka på att få lönen att räcka en hel månad, jag vill slippa läkarräkningar, skvaller och att mista människor jag tycker om.

Jag vill tro på betydelsen av en kram, ett vänligt ord, sann rättvisa, fred, drömmar, och jag vill göra änglar i snön igen. Så här är mina kreditkort, mina bilnycklar, mina räkningar och min pensionsförsäkring.

Härmed drar jag mig officiellt tillbaka som vuxen!

Vill du diskutera detta får du fånga mig först - Kull!

Vi ses i sandlådan. Om jag får leka med dina grejer får du leka med mina ..."

Ovan text är "Uppsägning från vuxenlivet" skrivet Dag Öhrlund

. . . .

Aaah, sooon! Sooon, Daniela my ex. girlfriend will come for a short quick visit. She will only stay for 10 days, but it's better than nothing. Ex. girlfriend you say, isn't that kinda wierd? You might think.

No, I don't think so since we get along so well. But sure this time is going to be a test for us since we haven't seen each other since she was here from like july to early september 2006 (I think it was...). She says she has gotten over me, I feel that I have been able to let go of her (after like 1 ½ years of hellish aching pain), so we'll see what happens.

After we broke up it was hard talking on the phone with her, almost all the time I ended up close to tears and that made her sad sometimes kinda angry with me for not letting go...but it was so hard letting go of something so wonderful like her. I never had a girlfriend like her before. But I don't wanna go down that old memory lane again, I you would like to read my thoughts of her then just look into my old posts and you'll find it.

Anyway, so yeah. This will be a test for us to see if we get along well still. The few times we've been talking on the phone (after i got over her) it's been all cool, we've been laughing and stuff. Kinda like in the beginning when we knew each other...


Damn, that made me realise once more how much I wish I had a girlfriend. Sometimes I don't think about so much actually, but just somedays I can't stand to be around people. All their hugging, kissing, holding hands and all that just makes me so depressed and feeling lonely. Sure I sometimes enjoy being alone, just me and my cat, and sometimes I enjoy the company of my friends...but most of the times I wish I could share my time with that special person.

One of my friends at work, let's call her Ms. Smith. She has been aching for this guy, lets call him Mr. X. She's been telling me that she is so much in love with him and how she feels that he is THE ONE. I've been trying to help her out with some ideas on how to advance to him but I don't think I was any help.

And a couple of days ago Ms. Smith sent this guy a SMS, a forward but still very subtle and nice SMS to him. She was so much hoping for a good answer, and who didn't?? But unfortunately he said he didn't feel the same way and now she's...hmm, I don't know the right word so "down the drain" is the only one I could find.

I wan't to help her out so much, but I don't know what to do or to say. I wrote an email to her today saying that she shouldn't give up all hope about him. If she still is there close to him maybe one day he will wake up from that "coma" of his and realise what a nice girl he has beside him. I kid you not, Ms. Smith is a cute, fun and a smart girl but with a kinda, hmm, for me wierd taste of music (Josh Groban...uck). I also told her not to completely close in on Mr. X, but to keep her eyes open for other guys too..

Why I don't hit on her?? Oh, I tried...but after a while she told me that she is into religion and her man must be into the same religion. And since I don't believe in them gods she believes in we just left in on a friendly plane. It's kinda wierd when you think about it:

She:

* Josh Groban style music and musicals.
* Religion is a BIG part of her and her life.

Me:

* Metal and other sorts of music but NO J.G. style music or musicals.
* I don't believe in religion, actually I sometimes despise it.

We are sometimes the opposites, but still we connect really good...funny how mankind works sometimes.

Oh, well...

. . . .

I got to see the excellent soul band The Commitments live tonight!!! HELL YEAH!! They kicked some serious soul assss!

I took some pictures and recorded their live version of "Mustang Sally", but that have to wait. The clock is about 01.00 in the night and I have to go up at around 07.00 in the morning...


Until next time, drink some good beer, listen to that fine music and love yer woman in everyway she deserves!

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4.2 - The radio plays our song, but you're not here...

A couple months ago I found a computer with a monitor in my storage room. It just sat there with a note that said

"Take it if you want it! The computer works, but you will need a harddrive."

I took it home and I tried it out with my brothers old XBOX HDD (when he chipped the XBOX he put in a larger HDD). Everything seemed to work ok, but since the XBOX HDD was still locked or something I couldn't use it.

Lucky me I have friends that had a spare HDD that I could borrow and yesterday when I got home the trip to a new working PC started...

I had promised my mom she could borrow the computer so she could transfer some really old recipes from her mom and grandmother. No one except her can read their handwriting so we thought it would be good to do it before the recipes fall apart.

The first problem I ran into was something to do with a missing NTLDR file or something. At first I had no idea what that meant and I unplugged the HDD, DVD, CD-RW and put them back again...no luck.

I came to think that I have my PC with a working internet connection so I found a solution for that pretty quick. After that I ran into some smaller problems with my Windows 98 disc, it just didn't want to install...why am I not surprised...

But after a couple of hours with formatting, installing and stuff I managed to make my way to a working Windows XP installation. If i hadn't promised my mom the computer I would had installed Linux on it instead to play around with and to learn myself how it works.

Oh, well...i just hope she will use it.

Thanks go out to:

Stefan (friend) - for providing me with the HDD.
Sababa Sushi (cat) - for keeping me company. Mjau mjau =^_^=
Google (search engine) - for providing me with solutions.
The anonymous neighbour - for leaving the computer in the storage room.

. . . .

Sooon it's weekend!!

I have no plans except sleeping and watching some movies. On sunday my brother comes to help me out with one of my shelfs that has gone a bit loose...we'll see if he decides to show up.

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4.1 - I had a good topic but I forgot what it was...

Don't have much to say...the new music festival Way out West starts today. I wish I had money so I could have gone there...

Artists like Lady Sovereign, Kayne West, The Hellacopters, Eagles of Death Metal, Koop, Lily Allen and so on are gonna play there.

But hell no that I pay over 1200,- SEK (ca. 129,- EUR) for a 2-day ticket! It's way too expensive. I think they could have cut the prices a bit more since this is their first year they have this festival.

Oh, well...nothing to do. I missed out on The Rolling Stones last friday too so, what the hell...

. . . .

Some people say "Jesus saves", but according to me "Cats saves too"



^_^

. . . .

Uck, I have a headache...and that it's hot outside dosen't make it better... -_-

But now it's lunch and we have some Frank Zappa on the radio!!! Yay!

"He thought he was a man, but he was a muffin!"

. . . .

Aah, back from lunch (thanks mom for the great lunch pack you've made last sunday =^_^= ), my headache has gone down a bit and I've found 20,- skr lying in my wallet unused (!!).

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4.0 - Spiderpig, spiderpig...

Uck, starting working again...the first day after my vacation I felt like shit. I kid you not when I say I was almost about to fall into a pile and start to cry.

I felt so bad for having to go back. But I took out some of my last guts and pulled myself togheter and went there. The first week I applied for a couple of jobs and I put up my CV on IKEA and Volvo so I hope they´ll see it soon. I need to get outta here, this place isn´t human!!

Luckily I have some people that make it worth coming here, thanks to you. You know who you are C, J, R, N, S, E, M, A, E...

. . . .

That scratch post i bought for my cat (btw. her name is Sababa Sushi) and it took about 2 weeks for her to really get used to it. In the beginning she wasn´t sure about it but now when she lies on top she looks like she owns the world and we are just her peasants (witch is true i guess ^_^).

. . . .

The swedish pop band Kent are going out on the road again to play some shows before they release their new album, and as always their tickets sell out and they sell out FAST! This time the tickets for the show in Gothenburg sold out in 15 minutes and the extra shows were sold out in 5 minutes (!!!)

I wanted to buy a ticket but as before I totally forgot about it and no luck for me...I thought. Today when I sat at work updating my blog *hrm* I mean i was doing work related stuff *hrm* when one of my colleagues asked me if I had bought a ticket already, and say as it was and all of a sudden I got two tickets to the concert at the show on the 25:th of November (!!!).

I quickly e-mailed out on work that I had a spare ticket but no one has the same excellent music taste as me and they are all pussies so no one answered...too bad for them.

. . . .

A couple of days ago me and some friends went and saw The Simpsons movie. It was kinda wierd to see it after all these years, I was also kinda worried that the movie would mean that it´s the end of The Simpsons. But after seeing the movie I can´t say that I am worried anymore.

If I´m gonna try to rate the movie I would give it 3.5 spiderpigs of 5.

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3.9 - Vacation

Day 1 to day 14

How I spent my vacation:

I didn't had enough money to go away to some exotic country or something like that so i stayed at home. I have a little one to take care of nowadays (in case you don't know what I mean, I've got a new cat).

So I stayed at home in my beloved Gothenburg. The first week I sought after good prices for a cat scratch ("cat tree"...?) playing thingy, you know so she can climb, scratch and play. I found A LOT of cool ones but the prices were pretty steep, from 300,- SKR to 3000,- SKR (!!!). WHO pays 3000,- SKR for something like that for a cat...

The other week (I had two weeks vacation), I went around searching for a frame for two posters I´ve got. I quickly found out that buying a specialized frame would cost me pretty much so I had to lay those plans on the side and went and bought that cat scratch thingy instead. The one I bought looks something like this one, Odin.

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3.8 - The machine rages on

A couple of days ago the angriest band in the world, Rage Against The Machine, played live at Coachella Festival (California, US).

I first found a bootleg record of the show, downloaded it as fast as I found it, since I was...no I still am a fan of this band.

And today when I was surfing around on one of my favorite bootleg sites I found the live DVD (!!!). Yes the whole freaking show on DVD!!!

I haven't downloaded it yet since I need some harddrive space, but I found this 11 minute clip from the show. It feels good to see that Zack de la Rocha, Tom Morello, Tim Commerford and Brad Wilk are still angry and pissed and kicks ass live.

Rumors goes around that no new album isn't to be waited from this band, but other rumours say that there might be...well, the future will tell.

And until that, ladies and gentlemen please enjoy this fine clip of Rage Against The Machine live at Coachella Festival 2007:



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3.7 - Grmbl....

Okajj, first things first.

This message that follows is in swedish, and swedish only, and may not be very proper swedish since I am currently under the influcence of alcohol.

Jag har druckigt ett par öl ikväll, pratat med den fan sötaste tjejen på mycket länge (kommer nog inte att träffa på henne inom en snar framtid misstänker jag) och är pga. dessa öl lite lull lull om man så säger.

Men känner att fan jag måste liksom snacka av mig lite granna...fast vet inte om vad.

Den däringa tjejen kanske?

Varför inte!

Hon heter Lise och är en arbetskompis kompis, och är gryyymt söt. gillar hennes näsa och ögon, vet inte varför just dom sakerna tilltalade mig, men så är det.

Hon var riktigt trevlig också, så det var ju ett plus i katalogen...fasen, hon var söt.


Skriver kanske mer i morgon då jag förhoppningsvis är nyktrare.


Godnatt!

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3.6 - Vägskäl : Idiot

As Ice-Cube sang "Today was a good day", today was a indeed good day...well at least the start.

I woke up and I felt a little tired but not so much, kinda unusual for me at a working day. Ate breakfast and made myself ready and made it to the bus.

Put on my headphones and listended to some good music...and was in a good mood when I arrived to work, but that changed pretty quickly when I got to know from a colleague that she got a new job.

Sure, I'm happy for her cause she dislikes the job as much as me, but it's sad to loose her. She's a fun person, a bit crazy from time to time and we had some good laughs in the past.

She will be missed alot, I hope she will be happier with her new job.

Well it can't be worser at least.

. . . .

Midsummers eve is coming up and I have no idea yet what I'm gonna do. It would be fun to gather some friends and go away somewhere and barbecue and drink some beer. Maybe by some lake or something so you could take a swim...

Yeah that would be great...

Gotta ask my friends what they are gonna do.

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3.5.1

I have been spending a little time on reading old posts I made on this blog. It was fun to read, I think I'll spend some more time soon reading them all.

I kind of felt like going back in time...

And I also found some links to some blogs I used to read but lost track of...

Oh crap...look a the time (right now 21:49) and I still haven't ate dinner nor made lunch for tomorrow. Well I only need to cook some pasta and it's finished. ;-)

Peace out y'all!


Btw. Who are you people reading my blog?

How did you end up here?

Yes I see that people are coming here and reads (i guess) this since I have the counter and I can see some statistics on a site I've set up.

So please leave a message telling me who you are, would be fun.

3.5 - "Jag vill spela roll"

When I was at the tram today on my way to work someone had carved the words "Jag vill spela roll" (in English: "I want to matter") on one of the windows. I was thinking about it if the person who carved that just did it for fun or if he/she did it because he/she is feeling bad (mental health)...

I wanted to take a picture of it, but I haven't bought my new mobile phone yet and on the phone I have now there isn't a camera (yeah, I know it sucks).

But then again, it was carved on a window so it could have been kinda hard to get a good photo of it.

. . . .

I mentioned earlier I have decided to buy a new mobile phone. This time I've set sails on the new SonyEricsson K810.

I haven't decided if I should go with a subscription for 12 months or not. Sure in the end it will be cheaper if I decide to buy it without any subscriptions, but then I have to pay around 3200,- SEK ~ 344,- EUR ~ 461,- USD.

What is wrong with the phone I've got now?

* Screen: When I'm in the sun I almost can't see anything on the screen. (Yes I have tried to adjust the screen colours.)

* No camera: No camera, no "Kodak moments photos". I mean when I'm out in town or where ever i see something special (mostly special graffiti and other street art paintings) that I want to take a photo of.

* T9: The "smart" alphabet system that should help out when writing a SMS. Well I don't find it that effective on the Nokia phone I've got...problaby It's because I'm so used to having SonyEricsson's version and that I feel lost with Nokias...

* Buttons: The buttons on the phone can be really irritating, especially the ring button around the center button.

So, yeah I'm bying a new phone.

. . . .

When I got home today I saw that I've got my paycheck so...

I'M IN THE MONEY
I GOT SOME MONEY

Wohoo!!

Ha ha ha...

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3.4 - No title III

Yesterday I had nothing to do so I took the bus to a place called Torslanda (swedish wikipedia), I had never been there before and I was kinda curious about the place. When I was there I saw this big supermarket called Maxi ICA (or ICA Maxi as I and many others call it), and with nothing better to do I went inside to get a look at it and to research if it's a place I could think of working at.

While walking around inside that store I see this young woman, and BAM! it hits me, it's a girl I used to work with. A girl I had a crush on too...

I wasn't sure in the beginning if it was her or not, but the more I looked, more sure I was. I wanted to go up to her but I didn't know what to say and I wasn't 100% sure it was her because now when I saw her she had kid in the trolley and she was pregnant. When we used to work togheter she was (I think) around 19-22, she was studying and lived with her boyfriend and no kids in sight.

It was about 5 years since I left that job, to see her and to see she had kids now came as a shock to me, and it got me thinking about my own life and where life had got me in these years.

What I had accomplished since i left that job:

* Got another job, stayed there for about 6 months
* Another job again, stayed there for almost 3 years
* Met a girl and we almost stayed togheter for over 2 year
* Another job once again, been here for soon 3 years.

I shouldn't compare myself to her, different ppl. choose different paths in life, but still i can't help it. I guess all people do the same some time in their life.

. . . .

This day didn't start out good. Last night I dreamt I was at a persons funderal (this person is very close to me), in my dream she had died from a terrorist bombing.

After a while I woke up, and I tried to go back to sleep, but it was to no use. I couldn't since I had images spinning in my head from my dream, the time we used to be togheter and images from the time when I had my Kahloolie Kathan here with me.

To say the least it wasn't fun to wake up all alone in a empty apartment with all these images spinning in my head...

I thought of staying home today, but then I thought that if I do that I would only be reminded of her and it be too hard on me, and if I go to work I hopefully can concentrate on something else.

But now that I am at work I feel even worser...

Hopefully this day will change for the better.

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3.3 - Wierd dreams III

Last night I had another weird dream again...this time i dreamt that I for some unknown reason went to a place where women sell sex for money (the word "prostitute" don't feel right to use since I got the feeling they had more class).

I started talking to a girl that worked over there and I felt she was really special and after a while we started talking about dating. She wasn't really up for it in the beginning so I came back to talk to her again and after some time she agreed and after a while we became a couple.

But some of her "friends" (?) (her "boss" and his goons maybe? I don't know who they were), weren't that happy about it and started chasing me when they saw me. In my dream I was living in Gothenburg (as I do in real life) but this Gothenburg looked different, more dirty and darker...but maybe it was because I was in those parts of the town.

Every time they chased me I managed to get away, and every time I got to spend time with my girlfriend (in the dream that is) I was happy.

I remember her as really beautiful. The strongest image I have of her was when I talked to her the first time. She had long brown (maybe dark red hair), a black dress, she maybe had a black corset and black high heeled shoes (may have been boots).

I hope to be able to return to her...

. . . .

But I can't help wondering what this dream means? It has been over 1½ years since me and my e.x. girlfriend broke up, I was dating a girl a while ago but nothing happened there. And now this girl at work has caught me in her vision, and last Friday I asked her out but she had plans, so we'll see if that will lead to anything. I sure hope so.

That girl at work is really really beautiful, her eyes, her face...mmm...


Anyway, I hate to be single. Every day I dream of having a girlfriend...when I was with Daniela she wasn't only my girlfriend she was also my best friend. I felt for the first time that I could tell her ANYTHING. And that is the first time i felt I could tell anything to someone.

And of course I miss the love. You know, the kissing, hugging, to be near each other, in bed cosying...and of course I miss the sex. I haven't had sex with anyone since the break up...

It's not that I'm desperate to have sex, but yes I miss it a lot.


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3.2 - Peeping Tom

I should go to bed, it's kinda late and as usual I have to get up and go to work. Tomorrow it's Friday so that's good.

I just wish I had some plans for the weekend...oh wait! I do have well...some kind of plan for Friday evening at least. Me and a friend are planning on going to see this Swedish pop (?) band called Detektivbyrån (in rough English: private detective bureau). I have never heard them before, but according to my friend they're supposed to be kinda good. I was first booked up for a underground party at a place called Bunkern, but then my friend said (Hey! Weren't we supposed to go to that bands show??) and i remembered something about saying something about going there...so no underground party for me this time.

I haven't been to Bunkern in a while now, and i miss it. The last time (at the first) was really fun, so have been looking forward to be able to go there again...but no such luck this time.

Oh well...maybe next time...?

OK, now i have gotten some weight off my chest and feel tired, so goodnight you people who are reading this blog, who ever you may be.

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PS. If someone wants to donate the following albums, please leave a message:

Dimmu Borgir - Death Cult Armageddon (limited edition metal book)

The Mars Volta - Frances The mute (Japanese limited edition)

Nine Inch Nails - With Teeth (limited tour edition)

3.1 - Life: 0 points

.
nothing will ever be the same again
|
she said I'm not over her yet
and she also said it feels akward to talk to me
|
feeling like crap again
|
just wanna get away
want to move
|
just get away from it all
|
leave it all behind and forget
|
but i have no money
|
nothing, nothing, nothing
will ever be the same again
|
feeling like crap
|
why
.

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Visage - Fade to grey

3.0 - "They're all songs of liberation..."

So yesterday I was at a live concert with Mr. Brant Bjork and The Bros and it was awesome (as the last two times I saw him). The only let down was that he didn't go on until really late, around 23.30 he went up on stage and did a kick ass concert until around 01.00 in the night.

When I got aout of the bar he played in I saw the tram to the city just had started from my station, and I knew it was gonna take a long while before a new one is gonna come...I was right, about 30 mins. until next one. I just wanted to get home and I needed "to do the number 1" (if you know what I mean), so nothing to do than just start walking into town...

In the end I was home and went to sleep around 02.30.

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2.9 - Let the truth be known...

"...and get stoned."


HELL YEAAAH!

Tonight I'm gonna see Brant Bjork live (!!!!) AAAAND I saw in the magazine Metro (the Swedish, Gothenburg edition) a note on the concert tonight that Alfredo Hernándéz is gonna be on the drums (!!!).

For you people that don't know him, he played drums on Kyuss "Welcome to Sky Valley", "...and the circus leaves town" and on Queens of the stone age's first album ("S/T").

That is really awesome! And what's even more cool is that Brant Bjork is signing his new album with the bros today (it's called "Somera Sol")!!

Now i have to get outta here and get the new album siiiigned by Mr. Bjork!!

WOHOOOO!!!

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2.8 - New design II

Aah, Saturday...finally weekend.

I sat up pretty late last night working on to get the template to work as I want here on Blogger. When I went to sleep I forgot to turn off the alarm on the buzzer so the radio started at 05.40 (!!) and I snoozed it and a while later it started again, I was between sleep and awake so I didn't think about it so much so I snoozed again...only to wake up again a short while again but this time I finally managed to get my head together to turn it off...

But some time later someone called me on the phone, I got up and checked on the screen of the phone but only to find it said "Anonymous", and when I answered the fucker hanged up on me. By that time the clock was around 08.30 and my whole idea of getting some some sweet sleep on a Saturday morning was ruined, I was awake now and I knew I couldn't go back to sleep.

A short while after I got up the same moron called me again and I answered only to find the idiot hanging up on me again!!! I strongly thought of calling my phone provider to try to find out who the idiot is, but i calmed down and just turned off the phone...

. . . .

So, it's Saturday and what the hell am I gonna do today? I have absolutely no idea...think I'm gonna head down to the city to...well, I have no idea...

...crap...

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2.7 - New design

As you can see i finally changed the horrible background that i used to have, I also changed the template too. Took me a while (to say the least) to finally do it, but for some reason I made my mind up to change it tonight.

More changes might come, mostly small which you readers problaby won't notice...but we'll see what happens in the future. For now I am pleased with the new template I got here.

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2.6

A
A L
A L O
A L O N
A L O N E
L O N E
O N E
N E
E

2.5 - 06:57

Today when I was at my moms to eat dinner, we also watched a movie, this time it was the excellent "The butterfly effect".

The last time I saw it I felt a bit down, I guess it's because it reminds me of that I want to go back and change so much in my past but it can't never be done. I started to think again about what I would like to change the most...

I thought a while about it and figured out that if I could go back and change something I would changed Danielas (my ex. girlfriends) life. I would have changed so she would be a more happy person, without those dark thoughts inside her that she has about life, and how unhappy she was (and still are...?).

She told me that her mom wasn't like other moms when she grew up (and still isn't), you know like hugging you and mom stuff like that. And she also told me that she considered to take her life, she even tried a couple of times. Her old boyfriends and friends have hurt her al lot and have given her deep scars, and a lot of other stuff that made her life miserable.

Changing the past and Danielas life would have meant that we probably would never have met and get to know each other, but if I knew that Daniela lived her life happily it would have been worth it. It's not that I regret the time I got with Daniela, I love her a lot and miss her very very much and I think about her all the time and I often dream back to the times when we were together here in Sweden or in Israel. She showed me a world I didn't knew anything about and gave me a lot of fun moments in life that I will always will remember with a lot of warmth.

But it hurts me so much to see and hear that she is unhappy, she is a very wonderful person that deserves so much, much much more than she even thinks she deserves.

Dani, this post is for you.


I know we haven't talked much lately, I hope you are doing fine with school and all the jobs you have.

I also hope that you have time to be with your friends Matan, Lookshine, Rotem, Noga & Genie, Ravit, Arbel, Jack and all the other ppl.

I miss you and I hope you haven't totally forgotten about me and that you're coming here to Sweden soon.

I know I have said a while ago that the next Desperate Housewives DVD was finished, but I noticed when I tried it that it didn't work out as good as I wanted it, so I have to redo everything. I'm really sorry about that.

But you know PC´s, one day they work the next day they won't. But now I have a new fresh installation of Win. XP on my computer and gonna get to work, and if everything works out I'll do the Green Wing DVDs too, as I promised.


Ani ohev af toot.

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2.4 - Life & Religion

Life in general:

Yesterday on my way from work I started to think when people passed me that life is pretty meaningless. I mean, we get born and from that day we travel to our end in at a high speed.

Our parents (or the one that gives us food and clothes) try to learn from the early stages what is right and what is wrong accoring to their standards. When we are old enough we start going to school to "learn" about the world and all around it. After many years in the school we are released from it and are supposed to make it on our own now. Some people continue to higher education and others start to work.

Some point in life we stop going to school and have to start working. And the point of work is to make enough money so we can eat and buy new clothes to us, but we like money so much so the point has become to earn so much money that we never can spend it all in our lifetime. We like to own stuff and we don't care witch foots we step on or who we have to kill to earn more money.

And some people happily kill other people go get more power or more money so they can buy more stuff or store the money in some bank or stocks or whatever. If that's not enough we kill the earth and the animals too. The earth that provides us with some place to live, and we kill all the animals without hesitation just so we can have clothes and food. Killing the animals for food is one thing, but what we people do is we kill them without thinking ahead and we have already made some species extinct.

Back to the work thing, we work our ass off all our life hoping to be able to kick back and enjoy the last years of our lives. But the fact is that many of us never get to enjoy those last years so much because of a little thing called money (yes, that old foe is here again to make a mess), and health. Naturally when people grow up we get sick and that happens all the time and the people with money can go to the doctor and those without can only hope it's nothing serious and that it will go away by itself.

So when the people without money get old they don't have that much to live off and get ill then can severly hurt their economy and even sometimes can hurt themselves severly when they can't afford the medical treatment.

The words are so familiar -
all the same greats, the same mistakes
It doesn't have to be like this.

Religion:

Some people believe that there are higher god(s) that we should put our faith in, and this is also very meaningless and it has through time often been the reason of wars (other reasons is money, love and power). Some people say that they kill in the name of their god, what kind of bullshit is that? I don't think it says in the religious books that "And thy God said to thee that thy shalt kill all that are against thee" or similar. No, people tend to read between the lines and interpret they way they want to.

A good example of this is the Christian religion. According to the christians homosexual people are wrong, that God said that it was meant that a man and a woman should live togheter, not two people of the same sex. What the hell is wrong with people?! If I should fall in love with someone and that person happens to be of the same sex that is no ones affair, and people should keep their nose out of my love life.

Or another good example of when religion went crazy is when a danish magazine printed some pictures of Muhammad (link to Wikipedia article.). Just because some cartoonists made some pictures of some religious guy the whole muslim world gets all crazy and wanted to open a can of whop ass (to say the least) on the whole danish country and their people. Sweden and norway got drawn into this heap of bullshit too.

I get so sick of this religion crap sometimes, people do this, people do that i the name of their god(s). That is just a heap of bullshit, you can't put a god responsible for your actions, it's only you and your leader that is responsible for your actions.

Sure some people find comfort and help through life with religion and that's good and all, but when it goes over their heads like in the examples i gave above it's just too much.


So in the end money, religion and love are the big evil corporations in life.

If you don't make a friend, now
One might make you -
So learn
The gentle art of making enemies

Don't look so surprised
Happy birthday...Fucker
Blow that candle out,
We're gonna kick you

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2.3 - Beyond the wall of sleep

All accounted for
Marked sheep, sold
Matched and numbered, weak
Downsized, uptight

It's about time

. . . .

When I woke up this morning I was sure it's thursday. I went to the shower and later sat down to have my usual breakfast and turned the radio on. After a while someone on the radio said something and said the word "today on this friday", and I thought "heey, someone is confused, it's thursday today".

I went to the tram and came to work, and my first call today someone wanted to rent a car:

"- Hi, i want to rent a car from today and a week forward." The customer said.
"- Ok, no problem. From today, thursday and a week forward."
"- Umm, it's friday today."
"- Is it?"

...after that call I had to ask a couple of my co-workers what day it was and they all said it was friday. I was really confused, what the hell happened to thursday??

. . . .

Stop making speeches
We can't hear you
From the bunker bed
It's not like the movies,
Where hatred made clearer sense

. . . .

Weekend again, and as usual I have no idea what i'm gonna do this weekend...sometimes I just feel like taking a random train and get away for a while.

Maybe I should fix my bike and go for that bike ride I have been thinking of for so long. The weather has started to be kinda nice now. The snow has melted away, too bad it's still a bit cold, and now when i'm writing this it's raining outside...

. . . .

This time around
Grey sharks. Down
Betrayed for personal wealth
Twelve feet under ground

It's about time

. . . .

Tonight i'm thinking of watching El Laberinto del Fauno (also called Pan's Labyrinth), heard from a co-worker it's supposed to be pretty good. But also go a hold a new game, "Sherlock Holmes - The Awakened", that i wanna try out.


Well, now i'm gonna get my ass out of Compton (work that is) and get some food and get home to my castle.


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Ps. In case someone wonders the text bits in italic is from a Khoma song called "Stop making speeches".

2.1

Today i got to think that it's been over 1 year since i was in Israel (see my blog Jump to Lightspeed for more info). This time a year ago i was in Eilat and had a good time...

I was together with Daniela and we were still a couple and at home the Loolie Kathan was waiting for me.


One year...it hasn't been a good year since i left Israel. When i came home Daniela wanted to take a break (witch usually means "i want to break up") and my friend (the Loolie Kathan) since over 20 years back went away.


I dated a girl a couple of weeks ago, i thought i had moved on and got over Daniela, but i now know that i haven't. When i was with Daniela i had the best time in my life. She made me more confident and sure of my self, she made me happy...
When we called each other we could talk easily for about 40-50 mins. (we used to call each other around 3-5 times a week), but nowadays we hardly speak at all. If i'm lucky we talk for about 5-10 mins. 1-2 times a week.

I miss so much the times we used to have, i miss her...she is the best girlfriend i ever had...

. . . .

Recently i have been starting to think really much if i am gonna go back to studies again. I need to get away from this crappy job i have now. I won't go anywhere with this job, it feels like I'm running in circles.

I HAVE TO GET AWAY FROM THIS SHIT!

I want to be a photographer, not like a photographer who takes cheesy pictures of weddings and that crap, no i dream more of being a rock concert photographer or be in the front line taking photos of war, happiness, poverty and stuff like that.

The thing is that if i'm gonna go study i want to concentrate on that full time, and i don't want a part-time job. I think this might be a bit difficult but i have to check if i can take a student loan and how much i have to pay back and all that around it...

. . . .

And at the gaming side of life i haven't been gaming that much, well i'm still stuck in Final Fantasy VI Advance, and recently i have been addicted to Underground Pool (in europe it's called Actua Pool). IGN gave it a really bad review points and sure it's not a very good game, but if you look beyond that and you're bored when you're at the loo it's working.

I have downloaded some other games i'm gonna try out, but i just need the right motivation...and time of course.

Last weekend i installed Call of Duty 2 (CoD 2) again, but my old-new graphics card (i don't know the name right now) can't handle all the fun graphics (like smoke and stuff) that good so sometimes it lags a bit. But still it's good to be back.

I have also checked with the CoD clan i used to game with if they are still active and it seems so, so maybe i'll throw myself out there in the online gaming once again.


It wouldn't hurt to have a more powerful computer and grapichs card...but right now i can't afford the 8-9000 skr i need to buy me a new PC.

:-(

. . . .

As i wrote in my previous post (2.0) i was going to a Cult of Luna concert and hopefully Eagles of Death Metal.

Cult of Luna concert was AWESOME! They were as good as i hoped them to be. I have some photos i took at home, i'll see if i can get my ass up and upload them somewhere...

Before the concert i talked to two guys at the bar, at first they seemed like two cool guys with a foot in the music business, but after a while i just noticed that they were talking shit...here some examples:

"- Last time we played on Rock am Ring we were set up to play on the smallest stage at a pretty bad time. But after a while we got to know that the band that was going to play between HIM and Slipknot cancelled so we got to go up between HIM and Slipknot on the largest stage. We went from the smallest stage to the biggest between those bands."

Suuure you got play between HIM and Slipknot, and suuure you got promoted from the smallest stage to the biggest...

And here's the worst:

"- You know who Max Cavalera is right?" (One of the guys asked me)
"- Of course."
"- Like 3 years ago i sent him a demo CD, and last week he called me and said that he could produce my album if put down a guitar solo on his new album..."

Yeah riiight, Max Cavalera called you...here i felt i had to get away and luckily some guy came and started to talk to them so i could sneak away.


I never went to Eagles of Death Metal in the end, i thought a friend of mine would hopefully fix something so we could get in, but she never did.

And next friday (the 16:th) i The Kristet Utseende to go to...

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2.0

I was out on a date last week, and last night I had a dream I got 4 SMS messages. I check them and I see that one of them is from this girl i dated. I open it and all that it says is "Bad news! Call me!".

So I call her up to see what she meant, and she says she wanna cancel our next date because of ...here i didn't hear what she said...

I´m getting too worked up over this i know, but it was my first real date in over 5 years so isn't that kinda natural...?

. . . .

Damn, I have to find another job. This crappy place i´m working in now doesn't get me anywhere in life! All it does is it sucks my will to live out of me...well almost...it makes me very tired. Even the salary sucks. Sure i´m single now and i make it ok, but i´m glad i don´t have any kids to support cause I just wouldn't make it.

. . . .

I don´t know if i said it before but I bought a Nintendo DS Lite (NDSL) last year and I bought a so called passme device + M3 Perfect Lite (Micro SD) to be able to play homebrew and downloaded games.

2 days ago I got a hold of Final Fantasy VI Advance. My first thought was "finally it´s released!!". According to me and many more this is one of THE best RPG game of all time, sure the other Final Fantasy games was good, but it never reached up too FFVI.

I haven't got so much time to sit down and enjoy this little bundle of joy, but it seems that SquareEnix have done a good job. The graphics is just as wonderful and the music is just as good as i remembered, so so far everything seems to be in order...not that there should be any reason not to.

2 other games I hope to be re-released now is Chrono Trigger and Secret of Mana, after that I won´t need any new games for a very very long time.

I just read on Wikipedia on the article for Secret of Mana that the game was originally intended to come out to the SNES CD system, but since it was cancelled the game was to be released on cartridge instead, but due to it´s size the games graphics had to downgrade and as much as 40% of the original content was removed (!!).

Imagine Secret of Mana with 40% graphical upgrade...Yummy yum yum!

. . . .

I just sat and checked upcoming concerts and holy crap March is going to be an expensive month for me. So far i found:

Abramis Brama + Black Debbath - 2:nd of march

Nicola Sarcevic - 10:th of march

The Kristet Utseende (also called T.K.U.) - 16th of march

Abramis Brama and Black Debbath plays a kind of stoner rock, Nicola Sarcevic plays more soft rock/pop and The Kristet Utseende plays punk/rock.

T.K.U. i HAVE too see, i have seen them once before and it was gooood, Abramis Brama i have seen many years ago and they was also good but Nicola S. I am kinda unsure if I will be going, and Black Debbath i really wanna see...

Tomorrow I am going to see Cult of Luna live.

And hopefully Eagles of Death Metal on saturday.

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Trehundrafemtionollnollsju

click on image for fullsize

do not hotlink or use photo without my permission

no comment, no logo, no nothing

"Careful with what you´re wishing for
They´ll lead you down below

Careful with what you´re thinking of
Don´t want to see you at the end of a rope"

Khoma - "One of us must hang"

Aah, friday...

As usual i sat on my usual forums and checked if there was any interesting discussions going on or some juicy gossip about games/movies/music and other stuff.

After a while i stumble across a post where someone had posted a link for the musicvideo commercial for the game Cannon Fodder called "War has never been so much fun" (link to video is further down) and later some other person posted a link to a live version performed by the geekiest band i the world (according to themselves) Press Play On Tape (PPOT).


Links to the videos:

"War has never been this much fun" (original)

"War has never been this much fun" (PPOT´s live version)


I have just two bloody (ha ha, bloody) words to say about that live performance...

Bloody brilliant!!

or if you prefer

Fucking awesome!!

"War has never been so much fun
Talk to your buddy
Kill him with your gun
Let him lie in his uniform
Dying in the sun"

. . . .

And that´s all i had to say today...well, for now atleast.


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PS. To avoid idiot flamers that dont have a sense of humor;

i do not like war in real life.
i think war is one of the most horrible
things on earth.

i do not want to kill my buddies and
let them lie dying in a uniform in the sun.

...well, if its in a game its ok with me...

still dont get it?

well, no one asked you what you think anyway.

...ha ha ha...

DS.

Hiiidey hoo...

No, i´m not dead or anything like that.

It has been a while...to say the least. August the 4:th was my last post here.

Hmm, didn´t realise it´s been that long since i posted here...damn...

Well, i am very much alive...or alive at least. I suffer from heartache since me and Dani broke up in march, and i haven´t got really over it yet.

She meant so much too me and still do!! I we´ll get back togheter i dont know, but i hope so...


Well, tonight (saturday) i was out with a friend of mine and im kinda tired now so i´ll just post this message to you all...if there is anyone at all that still comes here to check if i have updated my blog.

Its a new year and i have some new ideas for this blog...ill see if i take them anywere.

Cheers mates, and the best of luck to you.


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End Of Line Dillinger
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