"Why does it always rain on me?"

tuesday and i´m back at work...

feeling a bit depressed. why??

well it started this weekend when my girlfriend went to the doctor to find out why she was feeling so weak and had bruises...

the doctor said it might be a parasite in her that came from the visit in the Sinai desert.

on saturday (or was it sunday??) she called me and she was really weak, and she said she was going to sleep and i was really worried about her. i didn´t want her to sleep alone. but she didn´t have a choice.

i was became worried and depressed on sunday night, i felt that i couldn´t go to work at all.

on monday morning i felt a bit better, but still decided to stay at home. i wanted to be able to call my girlfriend and hear her voice to hear that she´s ok.

she called me up on monday afternoon and she was feeling alot better, but i was still depressed because i also had some bad dreams.

monday night the bad dreams came back...

the dream isn´t like the regular nightmare, it´s more like...i don´t know how to explain so i´ll just explain my dream.

but before i do that i have to give a bit of background to you readers.

....

before i started this work i´m at now i was working in a kiosk, you know a little store that sells beverages, magazines, candy, buss tickets...and so on. this kiosk company has alot of stores here in Sweden.

i had been in that company for almost 3 years and i liked my job. i had been working in many diffrent stores around Gothenburg.

and one day the cheifs decided to make the companies into franchises.

so i had to move around from store to store, it became harder and harder for me to find work. many of my old co-workers quitted for other jobs, but after some time i found a store that wasn´t on franchise, and it was undecided when it was supposed to go out on the franchise thing.

i had such luck there since some of my old co-workers was working there, and i was starting to enjoy the place.

and one day comes this bitch (and i really do mean bitch) and saying that she is gonna take over the store.

i have heard some rumors about her, but i decided not to listen to them (witch i would regret later) and signed a contract with her.

almost directly after she took over the problems started, she changed the routines without saying anything to us workers(!!)

she started to complain about me, how i did this wrong and how i did that wrong...when i all i tried to do was to make things right as i have learned over the years.

and one day after about 1 or 2 months she called me into her office and she accused me of stealing(!!!!!) and fired me.

i don´t have to say that i was of course innocent, but she said she had evidence.

and if i would talk to the union she would drag me into court.

she said that if i didn´t say anything she wouldn´t say anything to anyone.

after a mess of papers (with the union to get un-employment funding) and with the un-employment office i finally got free from her.

2 weeks after this incident a old co-worker called me up and asked me what the hell was going on. she had talked to her boss and that person had been in a meeting with other franchise owners and amongst other the bitch was there and she told the other bosses what happened(!!!)

....

i still feel very bad about what happened, and i really really hope that all the store she has will burn in hell!!

yes i do mean hell! i HATE her, i din´t think there is anyone else on this planet i hate as much as her...well my aunt i hate too...

i have been planning on getting back on her, but i have no idea (yet)...

everyday when i go to work i see that god damned store and i´m reminded of the time...

....

anyway, back to the dream.

i dreamt that i was back in the store working, worrying when she would come and complain that i did everything wrong according to her.

i know i shouldn´t let this get to me, but sometimes it does, and it wakes up bad memories.

i had been working there for over 3 years!

"why didn´t you go to the court with this then??" you might wonder. it decided not to cause i just wanted to lay it all behind me.

move on.

the time when i tried to get the papers straight (to get un-employment funding) i had to go to her to get some papers signed by her, and that made me feel really bad.

so i thought that i wouldn´t have the energy to go through it in court.

yes, i do sometimes regret i never did, but i try to let it go. it´s in the past now.

....

but amongst this sad story is a happy story(!!)

i found a cool Call of Duty modification. it´s called German Front Mod.

it contains new maps, new sounds to the weapons, modifications to the weapons and so on...

it is awesome! i´ve been playing it for 3 days now. sure it has some bugs in it, but still it is very playable!

i really recommend it to you all CoD fans! OBS!! you need the United Offensive expansion pack to play this mod.

end of line Dillinger

links of intrest:

CoD: German Front Mod